Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My Sex Life Sucks

My Sex Life Sucks
How do you know when your sex life sucks? If at least 2 of the following conditions are TRUE for your sex life it probably sucks:

  • You leave the television on while you make love.
  • Your dog, cat and/or Iguana doesn’t get off the bed anymore, they just ride it out looking angry and knowing.
  • The most recent spontaneous thing you did together was the laundry.
  • Your last conversation about sex was in college.
  • Dinner and a movie is really dinner and a movie.
  • You purchased a flat screen TV in time for the Super Bowl.
  • You are never in sync, when he is ready she is tired and vice versa.
  • The actual act of sex is taking less and less time.
  • Your last love making session didn’t make it through the entire commercial break on American Idol.
  • The last massage you received was from your dryer, whirlpool, pet or those strange wooden things on the back of your car seat.
  • You would rather go to the Dentist than make love with your partner (this condition counts as 2).

    [ Send your favorite My Sex Life Sucks Because….ideas to siiweb @ Bettersex . com and we will include them here. ]

My Sex Life Sucks, Now What?
Having a less than rewarding sex life is not uncommon. I loved this AARP Sexuality In Midlife study stat:

Nearly one-third of men and women with partners ranked their sex life somewhere between "yawn" and "bloody awful.

Here is how that scale would look:



If your sex life sucks, you are not alone (by a long shot). We’ve seen a disturbing trend of ever young people complaining of “boring” sex lives. We are so MTVed and over saturated by media we habituate to anything now at hyper speeds and that condition brings us to our first tip.

Better Sex Life Tip 1: Slow Down
Why do we speed up things that should be slow and slow down things that should be fast? The tide of our lives pulls us hither and yon. Speed seems to have its own self justifying course. We are important because we are so busy. We are so busy because we are important. This is circular goofy reasoning. The problem is it is VERY ADDICTIVE goofy circular reasoning.

The first “slow down” step is finding a new center. This sounds eastern and it is (to some degree). Moving your center, soul, source (whatever you name it) to the love you create means you slow down. You slow down because you are in control. You are important because of your connections and the love, generosity and spirit those connections create. Once you pierce the hot air surrounding your life’s “speed” you realize it is a self created mirage. Start your “slow down” journey by recovering your family, friends, pets and self. Cut out time, deflate the “hype” balloon and listen to every day’s unique song. Relocating your center can be hard. Here are some ideas that may help:

  • Walks to break up your work day – take a walk midmorning and in the middle of the afternoon if you can. Get out of the office, away from your computer, cube and phone. Don’t “speed walk” but get your heart rate up. Try to segment your walk. During those segments, however long, think of a single thing.
  • Use music to slow down – Ever notice how you match intensity of your workout to your music? The opposite is also true. Music can help you slow your process too. When I was in college a very hip musician friend played a record by Frank Sinatra and Brazilian Antonio Carolos Jobim . Seemed like a strange idea until I listened to the music. It is beautiful, soulful music guaranteed to slow you down.
  • Eat Slow especially when you are starving - eating, in this example, is a proxy for making love. If you can slow eating down by 25% or 50% you use the same mental muscles you need to slow down physical hunger during sex.
  • Watch a natural process every day to completion – nature has its own rhythm. 300 daily emails, 20 voicemails, crying children and impatient coworkers aren’t natural. Watch a bird landing on your feeder and grabbing a little dinner or wind winding its way through trees. Find one natural thing and watch it until completion.
  • Visualize slowness – you’ve probably read how sports stars visualize their victories. You can do the same. Create a mental image of yourself doing an activity at 2x or 3x your normal pace. Slow down non-sexual activities to create “slow-down” muscles. Sex is hard to slow down, so if you practice on slowing down your reading, cooking or driving you develop muscle needed when tackling the hardest thing to slow down – sex.
  • Practice being in the moment – living in the moment we are in may be the hardest thing we ever attempt. If someone calls you on the phone DON’T keep working on your computer as you talk. Be fully in that conversation. If you are listening to your partner isolate, reduce or eliminate “back talk” from the voice in your head. Be present and listen. Don’t bring the past or present into now (won’t do any good anyway). Like nature, each moment has a rhythm and a beat. When you are making love, each moment has a bridge to the next. Pay attention, provide feedback and focus you mind on what is happening NOW and you will slow down even doing the hardest thing there is to slow down – making love.

More soon.

Be sure to share your “My sex life sucks because….”

Do you have great music, helpful slowdown practices or any ideas that will help?

Send your emails to siiweb @ BetterSex . com with “my sex life sucks” in the subject line.

Link Ideas for immediate help:

Free Online Better Sex Love Program

Dr. Lori Buckley’s web site

How To Have Better Sex Tonight article.

25% off Site Labor Day Sale
















25% Off The Site Labor Day Sale *
Every now and again we get to create one of our favorite sales. We love 25% off the site sales because:

  • Easy to create for us because the offer fires into your cart. Put an item in there and presto, chango 25% off.
  • Customers love site wide sales because they get to buy whatever they want ON SALE.
  • Easy to understand - put stuff in your cart and 25% comes off the top.

Why Did we create this sale?
Here is what came to mind (included on our Learn More) page:

  • End of the Summer
  • Olympics are over
  • Football really hasn't started yet
  • Everyone in NC is at the beach
  • Economy sucks
  • The Jungian thing

The Jungian Thing
The Jungian Thing is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in your mind at once a la Private Joker in Kurick's movie Full Metal Jacket. The two opposing ideas, in this case, would be "shop online" over the last weekend of summer. We started the sale yesterday so you can achieve a Jungian state (buy stuff and then hit the beach).

* Almost Everything ...
Less than 1% of our products can't play in a sale like this usually due to agreements with manufacturers or high costs to us. We try to clearly tattoo "not available for discounts" on products affected by either condition.

Best Sellers
Use that link to view our Learn More page, top 10 best sellers this summer on the bottom of the page.



Monday, August 25, 2008

Free 2 Day Air Email

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Better Sex Summer Erotic Fiction - Finalists

4 Finalists Go To Judges Today
After 11 weeks, hundreds of stories and thousands of votes, four stories are finalists in our Better Sex Erotic Fiction Contest:

Semifinals Week 1 Winner: Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs by Annie Kerns

Semifinals Week 2 Winner: Beach Break by B. B. Giddens

Runner Up 1: Innocent Corruption by Larissa Lyons

Runner up 2: Temple of Venus by Anna Bookner

The Grand Prize winner will be determined by a 3 judge panel. Four stories (two semifinalists and two runner ups) went to the judges today. We will post judge's decision here the day after Labor Day (September 2nd). We modified our original idea from 3 stories to 4 stories as "Finalists" after voting irregularities were discovered last week. Temple of Venus, the best finishing second place story during our contest, was elevated to winning Week 9 replacing the story that experienced voting irregularities. I blogged extensively about this problem in my The Way Things Go Sometimes post on Friday August 22nd.

Vote for your favorite!
The $2,500 Grand Prize will be awarded by our 3 judge panel. We want to know what story you like best. We will update this blog posts with links as soon as they are available.

Good luck to all authors! Don't forget the deadline for the Fall Better Sex Erotic Fiction Contest is November 1st. Fall will be similar to Summer in the way the contest operates. Full details will be posted here next week. If you would like to get a jump on our Fall contest, send stories to:

siiweb @ BetterSex .com "Fall Fiction Contest submission" as the subject.

Wondering why we created the Better Sex Erotic Fiction Contest = use that link to read my explanation to one of our writers in our Revolution blog.

Yes, our "Ivoted" code still knocks $5.00 off your order if you vote for your favorite story in this week's non-binding poll.

VOTE NOW

Thanks,

Martin

Msmith @ BetterSex . com

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Way Things Go Sometimes

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

iPod Winner Notified - Quote Soon

iPod Winner Notified
Our "His" and "Hers" iPod winner has been notified and accepted.

They are signing the necessary Uncle Sam forms and confirming their "I can't believe I won" quote. As soon as we have that ear splitting scream of joy we will share it here. I am not a good enough writer to convey their unbounded joy in words. We will include their quote here soon. At least we didn't show up at their house like the Prize Patrol and scare the pants off them. Ever see those people? I guess if you win $1,000,000 you could care less how you look on TV and you know that is what the Patrol wants.

Thanks for everyone who entered. We will have another contest soon.

Martin

Better Sex Fiction Contest - Last Weekend To Vote









Erotic Fiction Semifinals Round 2 - Vote Now
Want to read some great hot erotic fiction this weekend? Want to do a good deed this weekend? How often do you get to do something fun that also helps others? Go to our Better Sex Summer Erotic Fiction Contest and vote for your favorite story. Almost 300 people voted last weekend and 4 anxious authors await your feedback.

Every vote counts. 3 stories will move to the finals (winner from last week, winner from this week and the story with the next most votes). Your vote could make the difference. Even better, we pay you to vote. Use the promotion code Ivoted in our cart and we will pay you $5.00 to vote (as a credit on your order). Don't forget to click "update cart" to confirm the discount.

Contest Change
A story was removed from our contest this morning after our algorithm detected unnatural voting patterns.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Better Sex Podcasts - Soon





Personal Life Media
We are working with our friends at Personal Life Media to create a free Better Sex podcast widget. PLM is a very cool site with tons of great free content on just about any subject you can name. We have the Better Sex Podcast widget on our QA site, think of QA as a scene that is backstage waiting for its turn on stage. I am about to write copy for the top of our Better Sex University page.

End of Free Condoms
If you are playing at home you know that our new Better Sex Podcasts will replace our Free Condom offer. We shipped 100 people free condoms this summer just because we thought that would be a cool thing to do. Today is the last day of the free condoms at least for a little bit.

Funny Free Condom Story
Before I sold sex toys and worked for world peace as I do now, I owned a cool gift company. If you've ever played with magnetic words on your fridge or locker then you've bought or played with a product the company I co-founded helped bring to market. We went to large gift shows in New York and San Francisco. Our booth contained thousands of magnetic words on a metal wall and bowls of Jenny Holzer condoms.

In New York we would come in every morning and read the wall. I've never seen so many creative uses of "sausage" before. We would edit out the most raunchy haiku and get ready for another day of trade show craziness. We had to refill Jenny Holzer condoms, we kept them in a huge glass bowl, a couple of times during the New York show.

Jenny's art is words. She creates advertising-like riffs such as THE FUTURE IS STUPID and usually paints her art on LED displays in museums or projected on the side of buildings (cool picture of projecting Jenny's art on Wikipedia - use the link above). We sold Holzer condoms with "Holzerisms" printed on them. The most popular Holzer condom was PROTECT ME FROM WHAT I WANT.

When we moved our traveling circus to the San Francisco gift show we had to read the wall every morning, AND we had to fill the condom bowl every morning. The San Francisco Gift Show is about 1/4 the size of New York, but we always had to plan for 4X as many condoms for San Francisco, the city by the bay. I love San Francisco. If I could afford it I would be writing this blog from a warehouse at the bottom of one of those great giant hills. If you can, be sure to get to Frisco before September is over to see Frida Kahlo at SF MoMA. This show of Kahlo's singular paintings, from what friends tell me, is not to be missed.

Long story about why if you want a free condom, you need to visit the Better Sex University before tomorrow. If Free Condoms is something you like and want us to do again let us know.

Protect me from what I want,

Martin
msmith @ BetterSex . com

P.S. Want to read more Martin museum riff? Read Top 5 Summer Museums on ScentTrail, or type "top summer museums" into Google.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Better Sex Erotic Fiction Contest - Why Create?

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Better Sex Erotic Fiction Semifinals







Vote in Round 2 Now!

The second round of the Better Sex Summer Erotic Fiction Contest Semifinals started today. Here are the stories competing for a spot in the finals:

Story 1: Flat Tire: The Adventures of Jaronda Monroe By L. R. Stewart

Story 2: Stimulus Software, Inc. By Anya Werner

Story 3: The HouseSitters By A. J. Riley

Story 4: Blindfold By Elle Buchanan

Story 5: Beach Break By B. B. Giddens

After you vote, use "Ivoted" in our cart to save $5.00 on your order today. Don't forget to click on "update cart" after you input the code as this confirms the discount.

Snow White & The Vampire Wins Round 1
Anne Kerns innovative story about the day Disney met Wes Craven won our first semifinal round with 41% of the vote. This means Snow White will be in the finals. Larissa Lyons' story Innocent Corruption came in second last week.

Round 2's stories will compete for a week. Next Monday, we will know the 3 stories that will go to the judges. Innocent Corruption will go if it receives more votes than the runner up to our winner this week. This is why every vote counts.

Once our 3 finalists stories are selected they will be read and voted on by a 3 judge panel. We will also hold a non-binding community poll next week to receive our community input on who they think should win the Grand Prize. We will award the Grand Prize on September 2nd.

Fall Better Sex Fiction Contest
We've received several submissions for our Fall Erotic Fiction writing contest. If your story did not make the summer contest your story is automatically entered in the fall contest. The fall contest submission deadline is November 1st.

Good Luck to all authors.

Martin

msmith @ BetterSex . com

Friday, August 15, 2008

His and Hers Ipod Contest - Winner Selected

Winner Selected
I don't know about you, but I never win anything. The winner of the Better Sex His and Her iPod Contest has been selected and notified via email. They have until Tuesday to accept the prize. We know that the winner only entered once and is new to BetterSex.com. We selected 2 runner-ups and we will go down the list if we don't hear from the winner by Tuesday.

Thanks to everyone who entered our contest.

Martin

Better Sex Summer Erotic Fiction Contest - Semifinals

Martin's Dream
I had a Sleepless Night last night. I dreamed about Snow White and a Vampire wearing Sensible Shoes. The was a girl named Penny and she was reading a story called Penny's Pleasure in the back seat of a car caught in a Traffic Jam. I kept shouting, "I'm innocent, I'm innocent," to a judge who said, "you are Innocently Corrupted." I woke up realizing I needed to blog about our Better Sex Erotic Fiction Contest Semifinals.

Last Weekend To Vote...Round One
Here is how the votes shape up as of Friday around lunch:

Story 1: "Sensible Shoes"
9%
Story 2: "Innocent Corruption"
26%
Story 3: "Penny's Pleasure"
7%
Story 4: "Snow White & the Vampire"
39%
Story 5: "Traffic Jammed"
5%
Story 6: "A Sleepless Night"
13%

Your Vote & A Writer's Dream
Your vote may make a writer's dream come true because our top prize is worth over $2,500. The money is important, but most of our writers are also looking for some street cred. They want confirmation, support and encouragement.

Remember three stories will become finalists. Read the stories and vote for your favorite even if they aren't winning this round because your favorite could still win the GRAND PRIZE.

Why am I so tired today? Must have been that crazy dream I had last night :).

Have a great weekend everyone.

Martin
msmith @ bettersex . com

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Silicone Triple - Gold Medal Sex Toy






Silicone Triple Orgasm Cock Ring Wins Gold
It was a close race. The touch at the end of the pool had three sex toys breaking the world record in a neck-and-neck race. Alas, there could only be one winner. One Gold Medalist. It was exciting to see the Silver Medalist from the last games, the Silicone Triple, edge out the new contender and previous world record holder, the Rabbit Super Vibrator and Head Honcho. We had a chance to speak with the Silicone Triple after his victory and here is what he said:

"Wow what a day. We had a great race. I followed the Rabbit Super Vibe off the turn and thought there was no way to catch him since he's beaten me before. I did feel him fading about midway through the last lap. I poured it on figuring I could breathe later," the Silicone Triple said laughing.
Certainly that was one of the closest races this announcer has ever seen. The Silicone Triple just wanted it more. Great races from all three competitors. What is next for the Silicone Triple?
"My people are speaking with people. We will be announcing a major endorsement deal in the lubrication category soon. Right now I am just looking to head home and see my family," the Silicone Triple said as he toweled his head and headed toward the locker room.

See all race competitors = use this link to view all competitors.

Silicone Triple - Gold Medal (25% Off)

Rabbit Super Vibrator - Silver Medal (15% Off)

Head Honcho = Bronze Medal (10% Off)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Follow BetterSexWeb on Twitter

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Better Sex Gold Medal Toy Poll







Close Race After Prelims....
Not sure if we are in the "bird's nest" or the "cube", but we have a very close race shaping up in our Olympic Sex Toy Poll. Your vote may break the tie.

Vote Now and Save 10% Today (use this link to place your vote and see our special code for voters).

Results So Far

Silicone Triple Orgasm Cockring (tied for first)

16 Function Rabbit Supper Vibe
(tied for first)

Head Honcho Masturbator (tied for second)

Pear Panther Rabit Vibe (tied for second)

Finals are today, so VOTE NOW.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Better Sex Summer Erotic Fiction - Semifinals







Vote Today - Your Vote Matters
As I write this there is an aspiring erotic fiction writer sitting on the edge of his or her seat. This nervous writer is one of 11 semi-finalists in our summer erotic fiction contest. Ours may be the first contest they've ever entered and now their story is battling it out with 10 others for a Grand Prize of over $2,500, not a fortune but potentially the most money this author has ever made from their writing. The other prize, becoming a published author, may be the most important. Money is fleeting ISBN numbers are forever. Help us select our 3 finalists, the stories that garner the most votes, and you will be rewarded with great summer reading, our thanks and an author's appreciation.

Vote Now

Snow White = Early Lead
Snow White and the Vampire is leading the first week of the semifinals. Be sure to vote for your favorite story because 3 finalists will be chosen. Your vote may make the difference for a story and an author.

Better Sex Fall Erotic Fiction Contest
We received so many great stories for our summer contest we have no choice but to have another contest. We will be having a fall erotic fiction contest, but we will be managing the contest differently. No more rolling admissions since it is just too hard to keep up and great stories that come in late don't get a fair shake. The submission deadline for the fall contest is November 1st, 2008. Here is a link to our original blog post about the fall contest:

Better Sex Fall Erotic Fiction Contest

Friday, August 8, 2008

Last Weekend Win 2 iPods

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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

BetterSex.com Says Thanks!!!

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Monday, August 4, 2008

Better Sex - How Free Shipping Works

Better Sex Cart = Misleading
Our cart contains a "shipping estimate". In fact, $7.95 is the most you will pay for standard shipping. The cart is not dynamic. Shipping cost actually vary from $0.00 to $7.95, so the cart represents the worst case scenario (the most you will ever pay for Standard Shipping).

Your order may qualify for Free Shipping (when you purchase $59.00 or more and/or when you respond to an email offering Free Shipping), but you won't see $0.00 in the shipping costs until after you login. This is confusing and we are working to fix it. Good rule is, ignore the cart. Your actual costs will be confirmed after you login.



In the example above (A) tells me my order qualifies for Free Shipping while (B) says I will pay $7.95. (B) is wrong and misleading. After I login or select "guest" I see the correct charge ($0.00) confirmed at stage 2 of our checkout.

2. SHIPPING INFO

Select your shipping option
$0.00 for Standard Shipping

(2 week average)
$6.00 for Priority Mail
(3 business days average)
$6.00 for 2 Day Air
(Guaranteed Delivery by 08/07)
Tracking Number provided via email.
$14.00 for 1 Day Air
(Guaranteed Delivery by 08/06)
Tracking Number provided via email.

Orders requesting next day delivery and placed by 2:45 EST will arrive next day except during Holiday shipping periods.

The Fix
Our first step is to fix the language so it is clear that the shipping cost you see in our cart is only an estimate and a worst case estimate at that. We hope to have new language up in this area in a few days. Thanks to everyone who helped us understand just how confusing this area is and big THANKS to those who pressed on and saw the correct shipping charge on step 2 of their checkout.

50% Free Shippers upgrade to 2 Day
About 50% of customers who qualify for Free Shipping pay $6.00 to upgrade to 2 Day UPS. 2 Day UPS includes tracking (standard United States Postal Service does not) and you know when your package will arrive.

Remember Picking Time
Orders placed after about noon EST will make it out to a UPS truck on the following day. Keep that in mind when you upgrade. 2 Day can take as many as 3 days depending on what time of day you placed your order.

Want Free Shipping = Subscribe to Email
If you are interested in Free Shipping, be sure to subscirbe to our email list. Email customers receive special offers every week. If you were on our email list today, you received a Free Shipping on all orders email. Use the link below to sign up for our emails if you don't want to miss the next special offer.

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Better Sex Summer Sale - Last Day

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