Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dealing with mismatched fetishes

In an ideal world, the person you fall in love with will have the exact same sexual turn-ons as you, but in reality compatibility outside the bedroom does not always translate to compatibility in the bedroom. Perhaps you are really into anal but your husband isn't, or perhaps you enjoy role playing but he just can't get into it without feeling absolutely ridiculous.

Or what happens if your girlfriend figures out that she's basically a masochist? She enjoys the pain caused by nipple clamps and wants you to be rough with her, but since you're not a sadist you don't know how?. Seattle Weekly has the answer.

Wolf understands your discomfort with inflicting pain. "All their lives guys have been taught to not hit girls. But some women want to be manhandled!" She suggests that you "remember that there is a difference between hurt and harm." When you give your girlfriend what she's asking for—even if it looks uncomfortable to you—you're making her happy. Just be sure you don't cross the line and harm her while you're hurting her. Capisce?...

...Wolf advises you to start slowly. Because spankings are already part of your play, she suggests you "up the ante by using a paddle, [but] make sure you know where is safe to hit." Wolf continues, "Increase the swats incrementally. Watch your partner, read the body language, and listen to how they breathe and what they say."

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